Virtue in Focus: Kindness

We Choose Virtues, the fantastic tool that we are using to help us work on and acquire virtues, inspires kindness by way of its very simple catchphrase: I treat others the way I like to be treated. It's what the Bible says, in simpler words.

There are numerous opportunities in our daily lives to teach our children kindness. The simplest one is through modeling kindness ourselves! With our family's focus in virtues, I've become conscious of what I do, and actively take note of good behavior that I see in my older child.

Here are some ideas to inspire and teach kindness to your children. Remember that the first objective for very young children is to just get them to be aware of the character traits that we are trying to instill in them.


Books

Books provide easy examples for kindness.

The best that I found containing this theme are the books in the Frog and Toad series written by Caldecott and Newbery awardee Arnold Lobel. Considered part of the classic children's books canon, the series is about two good friends who always do kind things for each other. Reading old favorites with a purpose (which was to look for acts of kindness) gave us a different experience from our previous readings. The "kindness lens" made us realize just how caring Frog and Toad really are for each other.

A look at kindness will not be complete without the story of The Good Samaritan. We have several Bible story books that we enjoy reading time and again. The varied styles between each other prove to be interesting and not boring at all even if the stories are just the same (of course!) You might be interested in a review that I wrote of the different Bible story books that we use. Click here.


Empathy

                                         Source: kids-pages.com via Lisa on Pinterest

Teaching our children the concept of treating others the way they want to be treated themselves should be accompanied by a lesson in empathy. Here are some easy ways:

• Talk about feelings. You can download and print two copies of  flashcards like the image above for a memory game.
• Experiment with different facial expressions and make a guessing game out of it!
• As you read books, look at the pictures and talk about what a character might be feeling
• Ask your child for ideas on how he would want another person to treat him if he was going through a particular emotion: sad, mad, happy.
• Take turns in acting out different emotions and responding to each other.

The acquisition of virtues is a process, and not an overnight thing. Don't worry if your child "slips" once in a while. I don't! :D 

Make magic!

Virtue in Focus: Attentiveness

This is the fifth post in my series "Virtues in Focus."

Click here to read the rest.

Listening is different from hearing. It is one of the concepts that struck me when I was training to be a Kindermusik educator three years ago.

Hearing is biological. You hear with your ears. It happens simply, naturally, automatically. A sound reaches your ear. You hear it.

The same goes for seeing. You see something in your line of vision. But it doesn't mean that you actually see it. It’s like when you’re reading and your mind is a million miles away. You read the words, turn the pages, but then suddenly realize that you don’t have any idea about what you have just read! 


Being Attentive 

Listening, as opposed to just hearing, requires effort, concentration, and brain power to process what you are hearing. It is an important skill for children to have as information is mostly relayed through the spoken word. Listening leads to learning. And between a husband and his wife, knowing how to listen leads to a good relationship!

In the same manner, instead of emptily looking with our eyes, observing carefully is something that should be trained and cultivated.


Games for Attentive Watching 

What’s Missing? – Lay down five to six trinkets or small objects in a straight line. Ask your child to name all the items one by one to commit to memory. Change the set of trinkets often. We used our Think-Ets and had enormous fun! (It's available at our shop.) 

Memory Game – Get any matching game that you have around the house and challenge your child to a memory game. For young children, start with a small number of pairs and increase gradually.

I Spy – Playing “I Spy” either with a book or your surroundings will provide hours of fun as you look carefully for what is being asked for. This is also a listening exercise. I remember playing this game when Little T was younger and we were learning phonics. I would say, “I spy with my little eye something that starts with ‘buh.’” We also made it into a guessing game: “I spy with my little eye something that is round, flat, and used for eating.”


Games for Attentive Listening

Listening Ear Massage – In Kindermusik classes, teachers always ask children to massage their ears from top to bottom. It is a Brain Gym activity that improves listening and memory skills. So next time you want your child to listen, try this simple exercise before saying what you want to say.

Simon Says – Play this classic game with your child in its original version or make up your own. We play this anywhere, even in our car. “Mama says clap three times then pinch your nose!” My kids love it!

Sound Bingo – We love sound bingo games! We have the ABC Sound Bingo by DoRe&Me. But you can easily make your own version using this free resource from Lesson Sense. Basically, you’ll listen to a sound and look for the matching picture on your bingo card. This will provide hours of fun!


Books to Read

We love the character Big Anthony in Tomie dePaola’s Strega Nona books! Big Anthony is Strega Nona’s bumbling assistant who DOESN’T listen and observe at all. We had fun spotting instances of when he is being inattentive and causes havoc around him! 

Another story that we enjoyed reading is "Why The Pina Has A Hundred Eyes", a Philippine folk tale published by Tahanan Books. It is about a girl named Pinang who can’t find anything that her mother asks her to look for. One day, in a moment of frustration, her mother wishes out loud for Pinang to have many, many eyes. In the morning, Pinang is nowhere to be found, but her mother notices a new plant growing in her garden. It eventually bears a fruit that seems to have a hundred eyes, a fruit that we now all know as the pineapple. 

When we learn to be not distracted and to focus on what we are seeing and hearing, we are assured that learning can take place. The good news is, we can easily train our children (and ourselves) to be attentive, to "watch and listen carefully," as We Choose Virtues succinctly puts it!

Make magic!

Virtue in Focus: Gentleness

This is the fourth post in my series "Virtues in Focus."

Click here to read the rest.

What does being gentle mean? “We Choose Virtues” sums it up well for us: being gentle means speaking quietly and touching softly. We should be gentle with our mouth and our hands.

While I find my children’s squeals, occasional screams, and regular roughhousing important ingredients of a happy childhood, it is still best to guide them and make them understand about being gentle towards each other and other people. Understanding the need to be gentle is part of their social and emotional development.

In our week focused on gentleness, we did some activities and read a few books. I hope the following can help you too on your path to acquiring this virtue.

Music and Movement Games

Music was an obvious choice for us to demonstrate soft and loud. Kindermusik classes promote sound discrimination right from Village (the one for newborn to one and a half year olds) and encourage families to continue the learning at home with the home materials. 

• We practiced playing softly and LOUDLY with our drums and egg shakers
• We took turns calling out the way to play with our instruments
• We played with our mini-cymbals while marching up and down. Little’s T current favorite phrase, which comes from a Cherub Wings video, provides a wonderful example for soft and loud sound: “Praise the Lord with booming cymbals: BOOOOOM!” Ouch in BOOOOOM! 
• We moved to music, depending on what it was “telling” us to do. Our favorite is this song from Little Sir’s Milk and Cookies CD. We sway in the slow and quiet parts, and we bounce in the bouncy parts.

Soft and Loud Voices

We practiced using our soft and loud voices by talking with:

• our regular voices,
• whispering, and then
• almost-shouting.

We talked about when to use each voice, and why. Regular voices are for talking to each other, whispering is for when somebody is asleep or resting, and “almost-shouting” or okay, just plain shouting, when there is an emergency and you need to call somebody’s attention.

Touching Gently

Little T thinks her baby brother is “the cutest baby in the whole world!” She can’t stop pinching or squeezing him. It bothers the grown-ups, but doesn’t seem to faze Little Sir. I think he even likes it and asks his sister, “again?”

To demonstrate touching gently - to appease myself that I’m at least protecting my baby, ha! - we played with some of our stuffed toys and took turns patting them. When we did this though, I forgot to bring out the classic baby book “Pat the Bunny” by Dorothy Kunhardt. It is an interactive book that asks children to touch and feel parts of the book. 

Books

"The Little Rabbit" by Judy Dunn and Phoebe Dunn is a "Before Five in a Row" book. It's about Sarah  and her pet rabbit Buttercup. 

 "Play with Me" by Marie Hall Ets is another "Before Five in a Row" book that we enjoyed reading together. It's about a girl who wants to play with the different animals around a pond, but is frustrated when they all run away from her. At the end, she realizes that the secret to making the animals come near her is to be still, to be gentle in her movements.

"Be Gentle!" is one of the stories about the cub Bartholomew by Virginia Miller. It is a lively series that we enjoyed when Little T was a toddler and that we are now re-reading for Little Sir. This particular story is also about taking care of a pet. 

Books about pets are generally great for talking about being gentle not only to animals but to people as well. I'm hoping to find more books that tackle gentleness, so I hope you'll let me know if you've read one!

Make magic!

Virtue in Focus: Contentment

This is the third post in my series "Virtues in Focus."

Click here to read the rest.

We Choose Virtue’s catchphrase for contentment is “I am content. I have my wanter under control.” I am comforted by the idea that we can teach our children to keep their wants, their desires in check.

My children are still very young, and “I want” is not really an issue yet. I hope that it won’t be!  I believe that talking about it now and doing some preventive work will help our family glide over it. The most important thing to remember is to model contentment for our children. Here are more ideas to get all of us going. 

Have a “gratitude attitude”

We learned this rhyming phrase from Heart Shapers’ Cherub Wings video series. When we are grateful, we feel happy and content for what we have and we don’t feel the need to have more, more, and more! (On a side note, we like Cherub Wings so much that we have made it available in our online shop.)


Encourage generosity

I have several older siblings, and it is normal for my children to receive hand-me down things: clothes, books, and toys. I love receiving such gifts. Our children get the opportunity to be grateful for their cousins’ generosity, and we are also inspired to be generous ourselves. It is part of our family’s schedule to sort our things every quarter and to give what we don’t need to my children’s younger cousins or to the family of two girls that Little T is friends with. Except for books, we don’t really keep much of our things. Generosity breeds generosity!


Say “No!” to the mall

I personally don’t like going to malls, and I especially don’t like bringing my kids when I do have to go to one. This almost zero exposure to the shopping culture has protected my children from wanting all the non-essential material things out there. It is sometimes a challenge to think of places to bring the kids, but simple joys like neighborhood walks and playing with their cousins are more beneficial than over-stimulating public places.

Books

For our week focused on contentment, we read the following books:

• Help Me Be Good: A Book About Whining by Joy Berry - The Help Me Be Good series is published by Scholastic.It covers topics such as bullying, laziness, being greedy, and being bossy. Read more about it here.

• The Giant Turnip: A Book About Generosity and Greed - Part of the Time Life series about values education. We like this particular book because the story about greed is very clear and easy to comprehend.

• The Biggest House in the World by Leo Lionni - A snail wants to have "the biggest house in the world" but his dad tells him the story of another snail who did have the biggest house - and ended up unable to move and eat because of it. A clear lesson on contentment.

• Ms Bilberry’s New House by Emma Chichester Clarke – Miss Bilberry is very happy with her life, her house, her dog, and her two birds Chitty and Chatty. But she keeps wondering about what it would be like to live on the other side of the mountain. This story teaches us that sometimes, we already have what we are looking for, and we need to be content to fully enjoy it.

• A Squash and a Squeeze by Julia Donaldson – A hilarious book that has been Little T’s favorite since she was two, “A Squash and a Squeeze” is the story of an old woman who thinks her house too little. On the advice of the wise old man, she brings farmyard animals to live with her. She soon realizes that her house is not small after all.

• It Could Always Be Worse by Margot Zemach – A Caldecott Honor Book, “It Could Always Be Worse” is a Yiddish folk tale that is similar to A Squash and a Squeeze. (Thank you Teacher Mama Tina for lending this to us!)

• Tight Times by Jeanette C. Patindol - A family has less of everything because the father lost his job - but they are grateful for what they are still able to enjoy.

• Just Enough and Not Too Much by Kaethe Zemach - Discovered this on my nephew's shelf while I was hunting for books to borrow from my sister's home library. This made my daughter laugh because "he's so silly to have so many chairs." Food for thought for those who collect so many things!

Make magic!

Virtue in Focus: Perseverance

This is the second post in my series "Virtues in Focus."

Click here to read the rest.

Nothing frustrates me more than hearing my daughter say "I can't do it" when faced with a task she has only just begun or has difficulty with.

My husband and I have had quite a number of discussions about how to instill perseverance in our children as it will serve them well as they navigate through life. We have some go-to phrases that we use to encourage our daughter to keep going, and that work quite well.

"It's okay to make mistakes as long as you do it."

"You just need to try." 

"Practice makes perfect."

But nothing beats We Choose Virtues' catchy catchphrase. It captures the essence of perseverance and speaks to a child so well.

"I can do it, even when it's tough!"

Books

Mike Mulligan and Mary Anne, his steam shovel, work hard and fast to finish digging the land for Popperville's new town hall in just one day! 

Ming Lo and his wife want to move the mountain to enjoy their house in peace and do everything in their power to do so. They follow all of the wise old man's advice until they achieve success with the last one - do the mountain dance by placing their right feet behind their left feet, their left feet behind their right feet, and so on. This had us laughing and walking backwards with our eyes closed. 

Virtue in Focus: Honesty

This is the first post in my series "Virtues in Focus."

Click here to read the rest.

Honesty was the first virtue that we focused on using We Choose Virtues. (Remember to join my giveaway to get a chance to win a set of Parenting Cards from We Choose Virtues!) It is a character trait that I value highly, as trust naturally follows it, making relationships happy and healthy.

Children, however, sometimes find it difficult to make a distinction between the truth and the untruth. When Little T was a little younger, I would wonder about her stories or her answers that somehow didn’t ring true.  Instead of thinking that she was lying or labeling her as a liar, I made it a point to ask her if what she was saying was “real” or “pretend.” I was enlightened and she went on making up stories.

Knowing the difference between the two is an important skill that children need to master so that they will be able to make the right decisions about telling the truth.

Using Scenarios to Talk About Virtues

"We Choose Virtues" explains a virtue by way of its antonyms or opposites: honesty versus dishonesty. But dishonesty has different shades. It can be to tell an outright lie, to omit something,  or to knowingly deceive someone. Talking about different scenarios helps in threshing out the differences, and at the same time enables parents to point out that all, though different from each other, fall under dishonesty.

Some teachers and parents write different scenarios to have a discussion about honesty. I find it easier to read or tell stories. Here are some books that you might find helpful in talking to your children about different aspects of honesty and dishonesty.

1. A Pair of Red Clogs by Masako Matsuno - * a Five in a Row book

Mako intentionally makes her new wooden clogs really dirty to make her mother buy her a new pair again - all because she cracked it while playing with her friends. We talked about using tricks to get one’s own way and that it is dishonest to do so.

2. Sarah’s Little Ghosts by Thierry Robberecht - * borrowed from The Learning Library

Sarah breaks her mother’s favorite necklace, the one that she was told never to play with. When she lies about knowing where the jewelry is, a ghost come out of her mouth - POP! From then on, a ghost pops out every time she lies.

This story gave us the opportunity to talk about how lying makes people feel inside – miserable.

3. The Empty Pot by Demi - * borrowed from The Learning Library 

The Empty Pot is about a boy named Ping who is made the Emperor’s heir after being proven to be the most honest boy in the kingdom. This is an enjoyable tale about how honesty is rewarded.  

4. Timid Timmy by Andreas Dierssen - * borrowed from The Learning Library

Timid Timmy wishes he can be like his friend Rocket who doesn’t seem to be afraid of anything. But then Timmy discovers another kind of bravery – telling the truth - when he told his mother the truth about the missing carrots.

  

5. Ruthie and the (Not So) Teeny Tiny Lie by Laura Lankin 

Ruthie finds a teeny tiny camera at the playground. She insists that it is hers when her friend Martin comes to claim it. Similar to Sarah’s Little Ghosts, this book shows how miserable people get when they lie - Ruthie could not eat or sleep! She takes a step of courage though and confesses her lie to her parents and then her teacher. 

6. Pinocchio 

Who doesn’t know Pinocchio, the wooden boy whose nose becomes longer with every lie that he tells? You don’t need a book to tell your own version of this story! 

7. Aesop's The Boy Who Cried Wolf 

This is one of my favorite stories to tell Little T. It has so much potential for play-acting while teaching about the consequences of telling a lie, even one told in jest.

Make magic!

We Choose Virtues: Review and Giveaway

Last week, I wrote about our family’s new focus on character development and our search for a tool that will serve as anchor. After researching on different materials, I got in touch with “We Choose Virtues” creator Heather McMillan. To make a long story short, she generously offered to send me a kit for review on this blog, and also a set of parenting cards to give away… double yay!

There are 13 cards in all, one for each 12 virtues, and one general card for
the parent/teacher.

What Do I Like About It?

I kept exclaiming “Ang ganda!” (Is “so nice!” a correct translation for this?) the first time I read the Teacher’s  Handbook, which Heather emailed before I even got the kit.

I find inspiration and learn something from the handbook every time I read it, which is often! Here are my favorite elements of the “We Choose Virtues” system.

1. Catchphrases and Antonyms

 Each virtue has a catchphrase that is very easy for children to memorize. For example, the catchphrase for contentment is “I have my WANTER under control,” and the antonym statement is “I am NOT bored, greedy, or always wanting more and I don’t beg or whine.”

These have become part of our family’s vocabulary and enable us to effortlessly talk about and reinforce virtues everyday. It’s so easy to tell Little T that she’s whining, and what virtue should she work on?  

2. Sense of Ownership 

All virtue statements are stated in the positive and create a sense of ownership: I AM. It is said that you become what you claim to be. “We Choose Virtues” promotes this excellently:

I am Diligent. I am Kind. I am Helpful. I am Obedient. I am Forgiving. I am Perseverant.  I am Gentle. I am Patient. I am Self-Controlled. I am Content. I am Honest. I am Attentive.

Brilliant!

3. Caterpillar and Butterfly 

Little children know that a caterpillar becomes a butterfly. So, it’s so easy for them to understand the idea that they can improve themselves by working on the different virtues, like a caterpillar transforming into a butterfly. This idea is integrated in discussions and tools.

Can you tell that I really like “We Choose Virtues?” I love that it’s so easy to use (almost no prep time!) and that it gives us a common language that makes talking about virtues effortless. I can see our family using this for the long-term as our main character development tool, with lots of books to supplement it.

Virtues in Focus

Being the primary influence in our children’s lives is one of the benefits of homeschooling for us. As parents, we are in a great position to teach our children good behavior and positive attitudes.

But we thought that it would all just come easily and naturally. We never really thought much about how we would go about it. After all, my husband and I strive to be good role models. Isn’t that enough?

When we noticed and tried to deal with some disagreeable behavior though, my husband and I realized that we need to be more intentional about character development, to be proactive instead of reactive, to mold instead of just correct. We can’t just wing it and hope for the best!

The Anchor

We decided to look for a “virtues curriculum” – a guide that will serve as our anchor in instilling good values in our children.

We first explored the Five in a Row Bible-Study Supplement, a set of character development lessons for each of the stories used in Five in a Row. Though we were highly attracted to it, we wanted something that we can use even outside our Five in a Row books.

So, we decided to go with We Choose Virtues, a tool designed to help teachers and parents reinforce virtues on a daily basis. We’ve already “studied” two virtues and I am very happy with how easy it is to weave in our everyday conversations. (For more about We Choose Virtues, do watch out for my review and giveaway next week!)

Picture Books as Tools

Picture books are the easiest supplements in character development. Since we are already discussing so many things based on what we read, a character exhibiting a particular virtue, or its opposite, becomes a friend we can relate with and talk about. Taking the context of a story into consideration, we can talk about a character’s actions and motivations in a deeper level.

Already, I am classifying our books based on virtues or values, and writing down books to hunt for either in book shops or at The Learning Library.

Educational Videos

My family and friends know that I strictly limit Little T's screen time. She did not watch any TV show before she was two, and now only has Saturday OR Sunday to watch a video that I have chosen beforehand. 

During the recent Manila International Book Fair, Teacher Mama Tina, Rosanne, and I got excited over a series of videos called Cherub Wings. As written on the VCD case, "each episode includes a visualized prayer, an illustrated Bible story, two high concept kid music videos, a Jesus teaching, a Scripture song, interviews, and loads of fun!" Some episodes feature a virtue that we can easily incorporate in our virtue lessons.

Instead of watching "The Sound of Music," which I confess was one of the videos that we let Little T watch and that turned out to be not so kid-friendly after all (hello, I Am Sixteen!), Cherub the angel will now fill our Saturdays and I can't be more relieved!

Virtue in Focus

Starting today, I will be having a regular feature on this blog called "Virtue in Focus" where I will be featuring one virtue at a time and include our lessons and resources for character development. I hope you can drop by from time to time and share ideas with me. Let me know please about books and other resources that will be helpful in this endeavor.

Make magic!